When We Were Bad by Charlotte Mendelson

Author:Charlotte Mendelson [Mendelson, Charlotte]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780330475112
Publisher: Picador

Eleven

‘Who were you talking to?’ says Jonathan on Saturday evening, from behind the bathroom door.

‘Oh!’ Frances has been gazing in amazement at the telephone. What has he heard? ‘I hadn’t, I didn’t, I didn’t know you were lis—’

‘Daddy,’ says one of the stepdaughters. ‘It’s floating. Hurry.’

‘It was simply your—’ he says, his voice amplified by tiles and scratched plastic. ‘Oh hang on, darling, the flannel . . . your tone.’

Through the crack in the door she can see only millimetres of husband: ribbed sock, droopy trouser knee, a tuft of ear hair. She has ten minutes in which to leave for Farringdon. Will he even notice? Isn’t everything he needs right here?

Last night as she lay in the bath, letting the water close around her face, she heard a noise. She opened her eyes. Jonathan was looking with interest not at her thighs, or her breasts, but at the old-fashioned and impractical window catch.

‘And Susannah’s shoe is falling apart,’ he was saying. ‘Did you keep the receipt? And I can’t find Rebecca’s spelling book. And Max’s rabbit lost an ear in the washing machine – we’re going to have to get the drum fixed again. And did you see that email I forwarded about women being drugged in sandwich shops?’

She floated before him, letting her ears slide below the surface as often as she dared. The water licked and sucked at her, puckering around her knees.

‘And that hairline crack behind the pipe in the girls’ room is letting in more rain; we’ll have to get Gavin back to take a look. And I think your earring must have fallen between the floorboards. And did you pay that parking ticket? And don’t forget it’s school quiz night on Tuesday.’

There was a long pause.

And?’ said Frances with effort, watching beads of sex and longing dribble away down the bathroom tiles.

That’s it.’

The moment had come. She could see it looming above her, glinting dangerously in the taps. If she opened her mouth and said, ‘Help me,’ perhaps he might.

Are you crying?’ he asked, sitting heavily on the side of the bath. Again?’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, hot tears dripping into the bath water. Tm . . . tired, I suppose. You’re just better at it all.’

He did not contradict her. Tm sure it will change,’ he said. And Max’s only eight months. Do you find him . . . boring?’

‘No,’ she said, not meeting his eye.

‘You wanted babies, though, didn’t you? Of course you did.’

‘Yes. I think. At least—’

‘I know he was earlier than maybe you’d have liked, but we did say—’

‘I know we did.’

‘—that we shouldn’t have too much of a gap between him and Rebecca. I worked out the ideal spacing. Don’t you remember? We did agree it; to cement our family, as Claudia would say.’

Frances was sinking. ‘I know we did,’ she said. ‘It’s, it’s . . .’ He is boring, she thought, listening to the booming pipes. I don’t know how to be with him. And he prefers you. And I’m damaging him, and I’m sick with guilt, and I still can’t make myself give him attention.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.